An uninteresting day as usual, a couple of things are still on my mind nonetheless.
I'm starting to type out/"code" my characters' pages again after a while, actually give them some info & such. I still need to draw their reference sheets though, I'll probably get back to that after posting this. Oh shit actually I should probably get started on a birthday drawing for one of my characters... that being Anya, her 20th birthday is on January 31st.
I'm also starting to feel out of place again, like real self conscious. Like everything I do is just so stupid & cringe. Doesn't help that it feels like my audience, mostly on Tumblr, is full of, what feels like, actual kids. That's definetly because of my WarioWare posting... starting to feel embarrassed about being into it again, for the 1 millionth time. I thought about making my accounts like 15+, but I really don't wanna go out of my way to block existing or new followers that are under 15 or have no age listed on their page. I also don't want to delete all of my (now considered) old art, 'cause I insist on archiving it that way, but it's still literally the first shit you see when you open my socials. And also Tumblr is real timeless and people keep reblogging my older shit, and following me because of that. Fuckin' whatever man. I dunno it just pisses me off because I take it as people following me for that ugly ass shit expect more of it when buddy you're years late to the party. UGH whatever. Literally whatever.
I've also been feeling like replies & reassurances & all have been fake as fuck, only cause I'm just predictable and end up whining about the same shit over & over, either that or people are just making themselves deal with me even though they literally do not care at all.
People are just so fucking frustrating to deal with man, I'm also so tired of getting too comfortable with everything, only to then get slapped in the face by remembering that nobody actually cares and people only want me for something and I'm just a convenient second option overshadowed by better, more approachable people.
Fucking whatever, I'm just in the same dumbass cycle. Going from “life is beautiful everyone loves me I'm finally at peace lalala” to “everything is fucking bleak and everyone despises me because I'm an alien trying to be a human but I'm too fucking stupid to understand/function right”. For the love of god this year can I actually get a life and start talking to people in person again after 8 years.
Anyway. Next week it's gonna get real cold. The nights are gonna be in the 20's. Reminder: I live in Texas, so this is like Antarctica to me LOL. My mom wants to make potato soup and cocoa when it starts gettin' cold, so I do look forward to that.
Listening to: The Long And Winding Road (Naked Version) by The Beatles
Watching: Nothing
Playing: Nothing
Eating: Tortellini
Drinking: Iced sweet tea
Feeling: Upset
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